I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
