Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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