the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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