Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
