Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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