Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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