I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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