So drunk its hurt
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
