Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
