It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
