I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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