my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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