After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i love accidental penises.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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