i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize