you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No subtext here. People are naked.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
