I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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