Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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