do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
