3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
