everyone is single if you try hard enough
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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