im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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