been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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