but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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