What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
