I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do herpes really smell.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
