My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
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What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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