Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
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