As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize