Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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