Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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