Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
