I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
