u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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