Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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