we have pet lesbian snakes
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
