mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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