My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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