You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
