all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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