So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
