I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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