OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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