I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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