i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
