I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
so much tequila, so little girl.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
