haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Damn victory sex feels great
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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