Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize