During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize