Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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