the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
