im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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