where am i from again
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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