Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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