she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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