It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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