mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
