yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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