we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize