absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
