My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
