i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
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