Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
