so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
