Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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