Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
